SmijSe.com ~ english

Paid for Sex

A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.
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A Duck Goes to the Market

One day, a duck went into a Market. The duck said to the Market owner, Do you have any bread? The Market owner said, No. Get outta here right now.
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Little Billy

Little Billy'came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
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Using your wife

A man received a message from his neighbour: “Sorry sir, I am using your wife, day and night, when you are not present at home. In fact, much more than you do… I confess this now because I am feeling very much guilty. I hope you will accept my sincere apologies.” The man shot the […]
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Pendulum

A lady hypnotised the whole audience in a hall with a pendulum. Suddenly, the pendulum fell down, and she said “Oh! Fuck!” Imagine the mess after that.
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The Woman, The Frog, And Three Wishes

Three women were out golfing one day and one of them hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the […]
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Girlfriends’ Dinner

A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cuteboy in Social Studies, lived on that street. 10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where […]
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Turn the page

A man reads a book in bed next to his wife & his finger went to tease his wife’s pussy. Wife asks: – You want sex? – No, just to wet my finger to turn the page. ~~~ Muž i žena leže u krevetu. On čita knjigu. Odjednom joj gurne prst u pičku. Žena: Želiš […]
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One golf ball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. “Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?”, he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. “Are you sure?”, the friend persisted. “What happens […]
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Magician

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. […]
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Prostitute

A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she’s a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available […]
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Rolex

A Greek parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
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